My mom is an emotionally manipulative bitch - but the kind of person who thinks she's a "saint" without acknowledging the moments when she is a bitch, or maybe when she's "good and pure" her mind just diffuses the negative thoughts, words, and deeds out of her as if they never happened.
But, they did happen and they hurt like a blade to my heart.
Saying things like "Oh PR? PR? Where is that PR getting you now?" [because I'm unemployed, and according to my mom I'm unemployable] and "You're below average" to a person with high values, dreams, and ideals is like emotional slaughter.
I hate my parents!
And I hate people who are like my parents or remind me of my parents.
They have never been supportive of me and my dreams/goals in life!
Hence, the lack of close relationships in my life, in general.
I usually just don't get emotionally close to people because a.) I'm afraid of what they'll do or how they may hurt me and b.) I'm afraid of what I'll do or how I may hurt them if I get too close.
The only one who I am emotionally close to is Marc-Antony, my life partner and my "love love" (as we call each other). I feel like he's a blessing from God and I hope I don't screw it up any more than I have or had, in the past.
I think it's really hard to find people who will truly, unconditionally accept and love you for who you really are - deep inside, behind the masks and the physical superficialities.
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