Monday, May 27, 2013 - Memorial Day: seriously lashed out in depression and anger; threw a knife at my father (missed) and threw chopped, bloody goat pieces at him as well.
Here's the jist,
I'm mentally ill. I'm clinically depressed.
I'm lonely - I have no friends and I don't know how to make friends.
I have no "support system," aside from my loving life partner (politically correct term: "boyfriend").
My parents and their cultural beliefs are the problem (well, part of my many problems).
Self loathe.
Self inflicted pain - mentally, if not physically.
Feeling hopeless and worthless.
No help. No understanding. No console.
I need to talk, openly and honestly (without judgement), to someone who I am comfortable with as well as trust. But, I have no one.
I could talk to my other half or to my younger brother, Matthew, however they're busy living their lives and I don't want to continue being a depressive burden.
I have a therapy session (first one with a new counselor nearby) on Monday, June 3rd at 4pm.
I hope she's good, as in I can talk to her. I hope I can be helped.
I'm constantly tired, energetically drained, low to nonexistent appetite, contemplating suicide (but also debating life versus death), praying to get better - please pray for me and others who are in this pit!
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